Episode 61 'Electric Elkboy: Incoming Trouble'

Perhaps it was the creation of such a grand feat of design built in the side of an impassable cliff face. Perhaps it was the fine threading and comfortable lining that the skin tight uniform had to offer. Perhaps it was none of these things and was actually down to the ridiculous set of antlers sticking out of the side of his head; whatever the reason, the Elkboy felt impelled to drink his brew at the entrance of his magnificent lair, where he was gifted with a heroic but meaningful stance that struck fear into his enemies and admiration from himself. 

There was a strong wind. The Elkboy grinned with a smug approval at this and recalled the vindaloo dinner the previous night. As the two red suns gently set below the Jenga mountains the ambience was suddenly interrupted by a clumsy hullabaloo from inside. The Elkboy swivelled around, spilling tea over his new outfit (muttering in dismay) but with a stealthy posture that demanded an explanation. 

Unfortunately for the Elkboy, as this was record timing for such alertness and seemed a waste of such a performance, it was only his faithful droid servant Chester. A tray of custard creams lay strewn on the floor and a bucket shaped robot began to frantically pick them up with its mechanical arms. 

       "Chester you swine!" bellowed Elkboy, relaxing his body but quick to rescue the flailing biscuits. "I've just had this floor buffered with wax. Simply impossible to pick up all of these crumbs!"

        "Sorry Sir," Chester's monotonous voice, resembling (but not replicating) William Daniels, the voice of Knightrider's KITT. He did not sound as sleek, however, and with as much authority as a badger on a zebra crossing. "It's this new set of blast doors you've had installed. It leaves a raised edge that proves formidable for the set of wheels you built for me."

          "Do not doubt my engineering skills Chester," the Elkboy turned back to face the sunset, doubting his engineering skills. "Now take these damaged baked goods to the kitchen. I have plans for them later."

As Chester rolled away, the Elkboy rubbed his hands together in a plotting fashion, thinking of the custard cream smoothie he would cunningly devise soon enough. The two blazing suns were still prominent on the horizon, and as the Elkboy leant heavily on one leg he clicked his fingers twice. The sound activated music system switched on to the play the Force Theme score from episode IV A New Hope. The Elkboy gazed into the distance, a confident, handsome expression upon his face. Suddenly the harmonic moment was disrupted once again, but instead of hearing Chester's unapologetic sounding apology the Elkboy froze as he heard something a lot less remorseful...

**** INCOMING! MISSILE LOCKED ON. INCOMING! MISSILE LOCKED ON.****

Through the settling mists of the explosion, surrounded by falling debris, red hot embers and chaotic sound effects, a gallant figure strode into view. He was tall with a confident step, seemingly heedless to the destruction that had so recently transpired within his secret lair (although, a 'mountain retreat' was his preferred expression). With each step his outline became more prominent and amidst the spiralling smoke a silhouette was formed. But this was no ordinary form of man. Above his brow there was an odd shape, floating freely from the rest of his body; a lightening bolt. Sharing the same head-space was another strange outline that could only be described as a set of antlers. This was no mere man. 

This was Electric Elkboy.

The newly installed blast doors had shielded much of the impact, yet it had not masked the fury that burned in the Elkboy's eyes. He wrenched open one of the bent doors (which was much easier than first considered, toppling the Elkboy off balance). He looked around... nope, nobody saw that he thought with a smug grin as he stepped into the sunlight. 

Chester, his faithful droid, was unable to pass the wreckage due to a poorly equipped front wheel so raised his robotic voice a little louder. 'Sir, we were hit by a homing missile from nearly 2000 miles away. The odds of successfully hitting our front door is approximately three thousand seven hundred and twenty to one!'
     'Never tell me the odds,' replied the Elkboy, cursing his unyielding decision to install Star Wars quotes into Chester's hard drive, but applauding himself for knowing the line that followed.
      'Sir, it was impossible for anybody to know of our location,' Chester was adamant in his investigation. 'I spent weeks hiding our tracks and disguising our transmitter signals. I even initiated a series...'
      'Chester! Calm down my son.' Elkboy liked to pretend that Chester was his illegitimate love child who needed burping now and again (forgetting the fact that he was a droid). 'Have you had your afternoon nap? I think all this excitement has frazzled your circuits, lets charge you up!' Chester's mechanical arms dropped in defeat and followed his master as he sprung back over the rubble.

As the little droid hummed quietly in the corner of the kitchen, the Elkboy scooped dollops of ice cream to join the custard creams he'd already piled into a blender. As it whirred merrily upon the expensive kitchen counter, Elkboy looked across at Chester and pondered over the information he had blurted out earlier. It certainly was incredible odds to target his front door from such a distance. And who could possibly have known about his mountain retreat? The Elkboy forgot about his smoothie and frowned, emphasising his concentration and even extending so far as to scratch an antler. Suddenly his lightening bolt quivered with realisation. He slammed his fist hard onto the kitchen top, knocking over the blender, but too bamboozled with his lackadaisical behaviour to even notice (but secretly he had noticed and was rather miffed at this delicious spillage). 

There was another who knew about his whereabouts. He had let it slip after letting his guard down merely weeks ago. The Elkboy sighed at his weakness. It was the Emerald Minx.